Written by Arianna North Castell
Congratulations! If you are reading this you have either died, or you are about to commence a brave and daring journey. I will assume it is the latter, and never fear, a journey to the underworld (called a katabasis by our Greek friends) is undertaken by the most famous heroes; so, you are in good company. Heracles, Orpheus, Psyche, Odysseus and Aeneas have taken the exact same journey and lived – so it is time to follow suit. First step, you ask? Down.
Before you descend you will need to bring a couple things. First – sturdy footwear. You will be walking a lot so avoid flip flops and stilettos. Second, go to the bank and grab a couple golden drachma. If you have just died, you will have been buried with some. Lastly, grab three honey-flavoured rice cakes from your local supermarket. All this might seem strange, but trust me, it will come in handy.
Luckily, you have a plethora of entrances to choose from to descend. Psyche valiantly climbed down a volcanic fissure, Odysseus sailed down the River of Oceans and poured a libation, and Aeneas picked a shiny twig from a magic tree. Take your pick of whatever you fancy – if you are stuck, Heracles even initiated himself into a mystery cult to descend to the Underworld (The Eleusinian Mysteries) but that’s the high-commitment option. He ends up taking the same route as Orpheus anyway: through a cave in Laconia. Many of these heroes had a guide, such as Sibyl or even the god Hermes. For those of you who know him as the fun-loving trickster god this might seem strange, but know he has the catchy nickname of ‘arch psychopomp’ – literally meaning ‘top soul conductor’. Even Dante had his own personal hero to fanboy over: Virgil himself. Luckily for you, you have me as your guide.
Once you have descended, give your eyes some time to adjust to the dark and I will talk you through what you are seeing. You are on the banks of the River Styx – the river of hate. If you are tempted to take a dip, know that it gave Achilles impenetrable skin, but unless you have packed your floatie arm bands I would not recommend it. It might be a little crowded, but never fear. What you are surrounded by are shades, the spirits of the departed. They are unable to cross the river as they were not given proper burials and they will be stuck on the banks for the next one hundred years before they are able to cross. Good news for you, you have got a golden drachma at the ready to pay the ferryman for your passage. Take your place in the queue and do not be alarmed when you see the ferryman, Charon. He hasn’t seen the sun in forever, giving his wrinkled skin a greenish colour. He wears a cone hat and dark robes – the trend cycle has not reached the Underworld yet. Give him the golden drachma (be warned he does not give change) and board the boat. Hang on tight if you are motion sick. It is not a pleasant ride.
After your ride with Charon, you will have made it to the gates of the underworld – and they have a formidable guard. He is a dog named Cerberus and trust me, he is not a cute puppy. Standing formidably tall, he has three foaming heads with razor-sharp teeth and a row of snakes sprouting from his spine. His job is not only to keep the souls of the dead in, but to keep the living out. Never fear, he does have a weakness. Grab your trusty honey-flavoured rice cakes and throw one at each of his heads. He will immediately jump up to eat them, and let you pass without issue.
Now you have passed through the gates, there are a few things to take note of before we continue. Firstly, do not eat or drink anything. You will pass the Garden of Persephone. Though you might be tempted to taste a handful of seeds from the glistening, ruby-red pomegranates, do not. Once you eat in the Underworld, you cannot leave. Secondly, there are five rivers of the underworld. None are places you will want to fill up your water bottle or take a quick dip. You have already crossed the Styx, but you will soon see the Lethe, the Acheron, the Phlegethon and Cocytus. One drop from the Lethe will wipe your memory – it is the river of forgetfulness. On its banks grow poppies and if you see them, turn around. That means you are near the cave of Hypnos, the god of sleep. No-one knows what it looks like, namely because once you are close you fall asleep and do not wake up. The next river, called the Phlegethon is more intimidating; the river of fire with churning waters of lava. Some say if you drink the waters, you will be healed of all ailments, but it is not a risk I would take. The Cocytus and Acheron are less cheery – the rivers of lamentation and woe. Steer clear of them and you will be fine. The third thing to note: you will see that the shades are lining up to the Fields of Judgement. Here is where the shades will be judged by three sons of Zeus: Minos, Rhadamanthus, and Aeacus. It is not as exciting as it sounds – no golden buzzers or spinney chairs, just three guys deciding if your life was evil, average, or gold-star worthy. Deftly avoid them, and we can start our tour.
The first realm you will pass through are the Fields of Punishment. Home to those who were evil in life and for whom, the gods have created special punishments for them to endure for all eternity. Atop a magnificent hill, you will see Sisyphus, King of Ephyra. He cheated death not once but twice, and not by special herbal teas, but by tricking both Thanatos and Hades. When it came to crafting his punishment, Hades tricked him by saying he would be released from the Underworld once he finished rolling a boulder up the hill. The boulder, impossibly heavy, rolls down the hill as soon as Sisyphus nears the top. You will see him there, still performing his futile task, hoping one day he will reach the top. Standing in a pool of clear, fresh water, you will see Tantalus. His punishment does not seem so bad, surrounded by lush greenery and trees bearing delicious, low hanging fruit. His curse is an unbearable hunger and thirst with the water and fruit so close to him but impossible for him to touch. Every time he attempts, the water pools away from him and wind blows the fruit from his reach. It is from his name we form the word tantalising. As you walk, you will see many others. Tityos with his innards being eaten by an eagle; the Danaides and their poorly designed water jugs. If you see any streaks of light, it’s Ixion, who was stretched on a wheel and set alight, thrown into the Underworld by Zeus to spiral in agony for eternity.
Have you ever wondered what happens to ordinary people after death? Those who were not evil, or who were not heroes? As you cross the threshold of the Fields of Punishment, you will find your answer. A vast grey field, dotted with poplar trees, where countless shades traipse around for eternity. These are the Fields of Asphodel. The poplar trees are an executive interior design choice by Hades – a former lover of his, an oceanid nymph he brought into the underworld, was unable to survive and so she became a poplar tree. Here, souls wander for eternity. Many drink from the Lethe and wander with the bliss of an empty mind. They spend their afterlives as they spent their lives, neither good nor evil, in complete neutrality.
As you continue, you will find the grey and gloomy pallor from Asphodel starts to dissipate. The air becomes lighter, sounds of laughter and music will start to appear. What you have come across here are the Elysian Fields. Here is where all your heroes and benevolent leaders will spend their eternity. They spend their time in utter peace, with rolling fields and beautiful forests, rivers of milk, honey and wine. They indulge in every food they could ever want, with wine-cups that replenish themselves. Here you will find your heroes such as Achilles, Penthesilea, and Heracles. Some heroes, after they have rested for a few millennia, choose to leave. They are given the option to drink from the Lethe and be reborn. As perfect as paradise may be, many find it is no replica for life.
Feel free to stop for a chat, ask them your burning questions and grab a few selfies. As you roam, you will see in the distance a body of water with glowing islands. Those are the Isles of the Blessed. Here is where the best of the best reside, in the paradise of paradise. The requirements here are specific, so listen up. You will have not only entered Elysium, but been reborn, died and got into Elysium three whole times before you are granted the All-Access Isles of the Blessed VIP Pass. Although you might be tempted to stay and chat (it is paradise after all), say your goodbyes swiftly and thank the heroes for their time.
Here ends our whistle stop tour of the Underworld. Do not be afraid to drop some drachmas on souvenirs. A little Cerberus key chain and an ‘I’ve been to the Underworld and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt’ are classics. Do not spend it all though – you still need to pay Charon for the fare back. As you ascend to the upper world, remember the lessons of those you have met; they are not accidental. Odysseus learnt he must approach his kingdom of Ithaca with caution, not even to trust his own wife. Aeneas came away with the legacy of the empire his city would birth. Not many come back empty handed – unless you are Orpheus. Even if the lessons were as simple as ‘don’t cook your own son and feed him to the gods’ or ‘don’t practise your muay thai skills on Thanatos and chain him up’, at least you will remember to bury yourself with a couple drachma, and never look at honey-flavoured rice cakes the same way.
Bibliography
Homer, trans Fitzgerald, R. (1961). The Odyssey, Garden City, N.Y., Doubleday.
Virgil, trans West, D. (2003) The Aeneid, Penguin Publishers.
Lucian, ed. Jerram, C.S. (1962) Vera Historia, Clarendon Press.
Image credit: Virgil feeding Cerberus earth in the Third Circle of Hell. Illustration from Dante’s Inferno by Gustave Doré. Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=469807
Retrospect Journal 